Plan II: A Perfect Fit

I know a couple of things about myself for sure: I love my family, I love Texas, I love swimming, I love writing, I love television. Some of these things relate to each other, some don’t. Some seem perfectly normal, others completely random. All of them make up a small piece of who I am.

Knowing some of these things (but not all, as you shall soon see), I began to explore my college options in the summer of 2008 by taking “recruiting trips” to the four colleges I felt best fit me. Well, let me back up. When I say “best fit me” what I really mean is, “were the best swimming schools in the country…” Yes, at that point in my life I had yet to grasp (or appreciate) the concept that swimming would not always be how I would spend the majority of my time. I did not exactly understand what my life would be like once the only real passion I had ever known was gone – so I chose to ignore it and narrowed down my schools based on their placement in the 2008 NCAA Championships and my search began. Then, something changed. An extremely high kick in the air, five back specialists, and no diagnoses happened. And suddenly, just months before my first recruiting trip, it looked like my swimming career (and my leap into that terrifying world without my passion) was going to come to a quicker end than I thought. I found myself confused, angry, and utterly, hopelessly lost. Who was I without swimming?

I found my answer through a simple idea my mom suggested - writing. After a particularly taxing day at the doctor’s office where I received only blank looks and “I’m sorry but nothing is showing up on this MRI”’s instead of the help I so desperately needed, I found solace in making up my own song lyrics, poems, and first person narratives about my experiences. Writing became my way of letting out the pain I was feeling physically and emotionally. Also, as a bonus, I discovered I was actually kind of good at the whole creative writing thing! Another adventure I explored during my days of injury? Television. I’d always been a TV watcher – I enjoyed the usual gratuitous reality shows and occasional sitcom throughout high school. But it took an injury that left me literally flat on my back for weeks for me to actually delve into the world of quality television (VERY different from normal television, let me assure you!) – and not only enjoy it but become fascinated by it. I became mesmerized by the storyline of the epic series LOST, especially. LOST, I soon found, is the epitome of a ‘thinking man’s show’ with its constant literary references, religious undertones, and plotlines that consistently made me really think – not just about the mystery of my favorite characters, but about my life. Watching this show made me realize that, as cheesy as it sounds, a good television show can do more than just provide the public with an hour of relaxation; it can challenge, it can inspire, and it can cause us to question our own ideals and beliefs. I became so passionate about television that I began to explore the behind-the-scenes world of networks, ratings, demographics, advertising, and more. Eventually I was even given the opportunity to shadow a VP of a highly esteemed talent management firm in Hollywood and learn more about all the possible areas open to me in the field of entertainment.

(Watching ABC's hit drama LOST gave me my first taste into the world of 'smart' television - and also my first idea for a career outside of swimming...) Photo courtesy of: http://www.stallonezone.com/z091405lostbig.jpg)

The best thing about this new and exciting job field of entertainment and television was that my love of writing could be incorporated into such a job in so many different capacities – as a show writer, runner, or executive producer. Or, maybe I wanted to focus more on the business side of the television industry, perhaps become a network president someday? For this, I realized, I would need not only business-savvy, but also to be extremely well read and informed about politics, religion, and pop-culture in general. All of a sudden, I had about a million interests, all intricately connected in such a way as to set me on my path to find not just a career, but a new passion.

Which brings me back to the origins of my college search: recruiting trips. With a still-injured back and a newly enforced interest in the idea of combining my two seemingly very different interests into a field of study and, possibly a career, I began to consider each school I visited for much more than their swimming facilities and teams. I started searching for a liberal arts environment that would support all of my varying interests and enable me to become proficient in ANYTHING that I wanted.

Well, you must know the rest of the story by now. Plan II was the only program I found that fit all the requirements I needed: not only did it satisfy my swimming needs while also allowing me to stay close to my family (and in my beloved Texas!), most especially it allowed me to pursue my newfound thirst for any and all knowledge surrounding anything having to do with writing, reading, television, the business of television, et cetera! Said John Henry Newman in his famous The Idea of a University, “Only is true enlargement of mind which is the power of viewing many things at once as a whole, of referring them severally to their true place in the universal system, of understanding their respective values, and determining their mutual dependence (Course Anthology, 167).” Plan II was the program that I knew would offer me such a change to enlarge my mind. I have since told many people about my plans to enter into either the writing or entertainment world (or some combination of the two) and I usually get questioned as to why I am not entering into an English or Business or marketing major, rather than such a broad discipline as Plan II. After reading Robert Brickley’s text on the true value of a liberal arts education, I feel confident in answering my questioners by explaining that such a program as Plan II will actually probably end up giving me more opportunities than a specialized major. Why? Because, as Brickley explains, “The world’s body of knowledge doubles every five years…. Employers need workers who know how to learn” and that’s exactly what Plan II has already begun to and will continue to teach me (Course Anthology, 173F). Another of my favorite reasons Plan II is the perfect fit for me is that it actually encourages people with vague (yet somehow oddly specific in some places) career goals like mine. Said Henry b. McCown Jr., a Plan II grad himself, “[Plan II students’] career interests cover the rage from architecture to zoology, and they have the power to bring their interests to bear on any class they take (Course Anthology, 173I).” I find this especially exciting for me to read, seeing as how I’ve already begun doing a form of this – one example was my being drawn to Professor Bump’s World Literature class because the works Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass were included in the curriculum (two books intricately tied into the storylines of LOST). A final reason I chose and am currently enjoying Plan II so much is the opportunity I had to learn experientially which, as the course anthology states, “can be more motivating, incorporating the pleasures of creating your own environment (Course Anthology, 184).”

It was after learning that Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland would be included in Professor Bump's World Literature Class that I decided to sign up - my very first stab at pursuing my interests actively in a class that might not specifically pertain to my career of choice. (Photo courtesy of: http://karenswhimsy.com/public-domain-images/alice-in-wonderland/thumbs/alice-in-wonderland-3-tn.gif)

At Plan II, I have been given the chance to make new friends, pursue new and old interests, gain knowledge in whatever subject I desire, and become the person I want to be when I do finally decide exactly which passion (or what combination of them) I will follow. For that, I am immensely grateful and excited about what my future holds.

Who Am I? Psychological Type Discussion

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night. Let me think, was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a bit different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!"

- Alice, Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland

Let me be honest, I was always a strange child; creative, quiet, and not exactly surrounded by friends. A loner, if you will. And after years of putting up with my preference of spending time with an imaginary friend (her name was Jen and she was an orphaned pop-star who played basketball with me in my back yard….) over joining my family for bike rides, cookouts, and normal life, my mom – who is 100% extrovert – decided to read the book The Introvert Advantage. Once she concluded (to her relief) that there was nothing ‘wrong’ with her daughter’s strange schizophrenic-like penchant of locking herself up in the bedroom after spending hours playing with friends, she accepted my need to be alone as important to my development, and spoke so proudly and often of my introverted-ness (yes, I realize this is not a word but my personality type includes ‘thinking outside the box’- so there you go), but I never came to be proud of it myself. The way I saw it, I was different – I could spend time with friends and “turn on” my outgoing, talkative, friendly switch, but I'd much rather ‘turn the switch off’ and forgo an afternoon at the country club pool for solitary relaxation on my porch rocking in a chair and thinking on the state of my life thus far. This was 'weird'; I was different and I didn't like it.

Needless to say, I had a pretty good feeling of what the results of my taking the Briggs-Meyer test were going to be. I ended up with INFJ: Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging. What I did not know was how enlightening it would be to study the different writing and learning habits of those with my psychological type, and to see how accurately (or, in some cases inaccurately) my own styles were described. Here is what I found:

Introversion

(11 year old me, listening to music/thinking/enjoying an introvert's favorite past-time)

Since arriving at the University of Texas, the hardest adjustment for me has been in how I spend my free time. As an extreme introvert (89% according to the Briggs-Meyer test), I crave privacy over almost any other form of existence. Extroverts need people, talking, constant interaction in order to feel energized and introverts need, well, pretty much the opposite. If I am not able to have my time away from people to think, work, and relax I find myself absolutely exhausted and unable to make myself hang out with friends or people in general. As a student thrust into classes and swimming and a small dorm room, I have little of the alone time that I so desperately need to get through the day. Consequentially, I have found myself biking like a maniac all over campus to find the perfect library in which I can study, listen to music, and just be. I feel as though the college freshmen experience of constantly being with people is causing me to be even less social than I usually am. Right about now, in fact, I’m pretty sure my roommate thinks I can’t stand her – and why shouldn’t she? I’m hardly ever in the room, and when I do venture into the dormitory I’m usually on the computer or sitting in silence. However, I actually like my roommate a lot. She’s funny, kind, intelligent, someone I am lucky to be friends with. She is also, I’m going to go ahead and assume, an extrovert. Therein lies our possible problem – extroverts are confused by the habits and needs of introverts. It seems so simple – just make yourself go out with your friends, just make yourself be un-introverted! What I hope my roommate will understand is that I can’t; I am psychologically set up the way I am. When we’re together in the room and neither of us is speaking, I’m enjoying what I feel like is a comfortable silence, but she probably thinks I’m in a bad mood. When I leave the room for hours at a time and then come back to her question of where I’ve been, how can I explain that I’ve just needed to be alone – not because I’m frustrated with her or anyone around me – but because my alone-time is what makes me….me? I can only hope that she and others will understand more about this side of me as the year continues and that I, in turn, can relax a bit more instead of constantly feeling like my energy is draining away.

Learning and Writing as an Introvert

I’m sitting in class. My professor is holding an open discussion about the assigned book we read last night and I think I just might know the answer. But….do I? I mean, I know the general idea of the answer, but what exactly is he looking for? How accurately and quickly can I get my point across without stumbling over my words and forgetting my point? Can’t we all just write down what we think of the book and turn that in?! Oh, wait, someone else just raised his hand. Thank goodness.

This is a typical moment for me in a typical class on a typical day. This is also, apparently, the attitude of most introverted students. Some (read: extroverted learners) might say we second-guess ourselves to the point of self-destruction; I prefer to call it “thinking it through” until we know exactly what we want to say.[1]

Introverted writers follow much the same modus operandi when preparing their papers. “Introverts may become blocked when they cannot see where the paper is going or when they want to have the entire paper planned in their minds before beginning to write," states an excerpt from The Writing Process Inventory.[2] This is something I’m experiencing right now with this blog entry, as a matter of fact! The Writing Process Inventory excerpts from the Course Anthology are encouraging me to attempt writing in an extroverted way (using trial and error) so I guess I’ll attempt that for now!

Intuition

“[INFJ’s] are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them,” proclaims Keirsey.com of the N portion of the INFJ personality – ‘iNtuition’.[3] This I feel applies to me quite well, though I have not always relished the “gift” – if that’s what I should call it – of being in-tune to what other’s true motives and feelings are. This side of my personality has brought more harm than good to many of my friendships and has left me with a sharply wary sense of unease around new people. My dad used to joke that I reminded him of our dog, Tara, who’s hair on the back of her neck would stand up when she was faced with the prospect of meeting a new dog. I have, however, learned to trust my intuition over the years and feel that it is a blessing in that I know for certain that my closest confidants and friends – of which I have very few (another apparent trait of most INFJ’s) – are people I can always trust. To have a keen intuition about others also allows me to have a heightened sense of self-awareness around others, which I feel is helpful in turning my “extrovert switch” on when in large groups of people so as not to be rude.

Learning and Writing with Intuition

Intuitive learners “like to look beneath surface to find hidden meaning”.[4] When it comes to my style of learning, this rings true. I find that facts and practical knowledge are difficult for me to grasp and limit my creativity, whereas dissecting the minute details of what something means or why something happens brings my imagination to life. Give me a copy of one of my favorite books, Jane Eyre, and my first question will be about the things Charlotte Bronte isn’t writing about – her secret desires, what motivates her to pen such a work in the first place, and basically everything her words mean when read ‘between the lines.’

The characteristics of an intuitive writing style continue this theme of having a big imagination as “[intuitive writers] tend to write best when given general directions from which they can create their own goals”.[5] My favorite papers to write are narratives or analytical papers with which I can take creative risks, so I do feel that I would be accurately labeled an intuitive writer.

(below: "I am disconsolate often for days after a loss [in a swim race]")

Feeling

The ‘feeling’ portion of this personality type was not a surprise to me - an acute sense of empathy and sensitivity towards others’ feelings has long been a trait I am proud to possess. Not so glamorous, but equally apparent in myself, is a habit of allowing my feelings to rule my decisions rather than reason. Especially in my sport do I find this to be apparent – I feel the highest of highs after winning a swim race but am disconsolate often for days after a loss. In the same sense, my ultra-sensitivity is also apparent in my everyday interactions with friends. Many a joke from a friend taken as a perceived slight has left me angry for days and unwilling to express that anger due to my introverted personality. As cheesy as it sounds, my feelings are a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I think I feel too much.

Learning, Writing, and Feeling

Feeling is a huge part of who I am as a writer. The ultra-sensitivity I spoke of earlier is apparent in my classroom behavior and learning style as I tend to take criticisms harder than I should, and spend too much time worried about the attitudes and personalities of others around me rather than focusing on the assignment itself.

However, my penchant to feel too much is probably a good thing when it comes to my writing and is evidenced especially in the personal emotion I put into any first person narrative pieces. Says the excerpt from the Anthology, “[feeling types] are good at making contact with the audience…their writing will usually reflect a deep personal conviction”.[6] A detriment to this style of writing, for me, is that I find it difficult to write about a topic I have not experienced or from a point of view different from my own.

Judging

Upon taking this test, my biggest immediate fear was the label of ‘Judging’ my INFJ personality carries with it. At the time, I believed ‘Judging’ to be synonymous with being judgmental – a label no one (save judges, perhaps!) would want given to them. However, I soon learned that to be a ‘Judging’ type rather than a ‘Perceiving’ type means mostly that I see things more in ‘black and white’ and have perhaps a stronger and more unwavering set of values and truths in my life than a perceiver would. Overall, I do see myself as possessing this aspect of my psychological-self, mostly because I do consider myself to have a strong moral compass and to, often to my own detriment, fail to understand those who do not. This does conflict a bit with my N and F tendencies – which allow for a great amount of empathy and understanding – perhaps an explanation for why INFJ’s make up less than 1% of the world’s population.

Learning, Writing, and Judging

I have to disagree with the Briggs-Meyer test on the ‘Judging’ portion of my personality when it comes to learning. The learning style of a judging individual involves “a need for closure [that] may make them finish too soon” and a “preference to work on one subject at a time”.[7] On the contrary, I put off finishing a project until I am absolutely certain of the outcome I will achieve (similar to tendencies of the ‘Introverted’ student) and find myself needing to work on more than one thing at a time to preserve my sanity!

Writing-wise, I also feel that my style does not match up with the prototype of a typical ‘judging and writing’ individual. I do the opposite of the typical judging way which usually involves writing rapidly without pausing to plan very often. Whether the Briggs-Meyer test itself was incorrect in labeling me as ‘Judging’ or my writing and reading skills are simply an anomaly (in which case other non-school related parts of my personality would fit in the ‘Judging category) I am not sure, but it is interesting and refreshing to discover that not all of my creative tendencies are such that can be outlined in a personality test!

Typology Assessment of Instructor and Class

“INFJ’s have a good grasp on the other types present in our class. Her leadership is therefore vital for the success of the group,” explains Saumya Tayi in her Typology Assessment of Instructor and Class.[8] I think Saumya is accurate in this assessment of my psychological type, but I find myself wary (read: scared!) to take on the role of leadership in this – or any – class. Hopefully I can grow into this role a bit and also, as Saumya mentions, “serve as a mediator between people in fierce debate.”[9] If I can learn to exercise these skills in class, I will be able step out of my comfort zone and grow as a student and person into the best INFJ I can possibly be and can enjoy working and learning with each varied psychological type.

When it comes to working well with and learning thoroughly from my World Literature professor, who is an ISFJ, I think we will find it easy to work together this year for the simple reason that both of our types are such that we “need to be needed.”[10] As an ISFJ, Professor Bump wants his students to care about what he’s teaching them, as an INFJ I will either actually care or pretend to so that he is happy! No, I kid! But, I do think that we will be able to work well together, as his type is such that he wants us to all be able to trust and learn from him and my type is such that when I find someone I can trust I really open up to that person creatively and intellectually. My only cause for worry is that my N tendencies will hurt me in my written work. I fear confusing Professor Bump with my lack of explicit examples and more narrative and lyrical style of writing than he probably prefers. I will just have to teach myself to embrace whatever small percentage of S I possess when I write this year!

So, what have I learned?

Let me be honest, I’m still a little strange. But, most gratifying about this test was not that it confirmed most of what I already believed about my personality, but that it made me feel that perhaps it’s not only acceptable to be the way I am, but also possibly praiseworthy. Perhaps I can be an asset to my peers and to my classes in more ways than the traditional ones I’ve been accustomed to. Learning about all the characteristics of being an INFJ in a classroom environment has given me a greater sense of power and a smaller worry about limitations. It has also encouraged me to learn about the ways in which each different type can work together in a harmonious, successful environment. After taking this test and analyzing the results, I have a better grasp of the student, friend, athlete, writer, and learner I can be. I don't know if I've fully accepted the benefits of my 'type' yet, but I do know this: I'm different, and I'm beginning to like it.

Word Count (without quotations) = 2,444

---

[1] Bump, Jerome. “Extrovert/Introvert Teaching/Learning Styles”. Composition and Reading in World Literature (Fall 2009): 140.

[2] DiTiberio, John K. & Jensen, George H. Writing Process Inventory. (1986). Found in Composition and Reading in World Literature (Fall 2009): 147.

[3] Keirsey, "About 4 Temperaments," http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=counselor

[4] Bump, Jerome. “Sensing/Intuition Teaching/Learning Styles.” Composition and Reading in World Literature (Fall 2009): 138.

[5] DiTiberio, John K. & Jensen, George H. Writing Process Inventory. (1986). In Composition and Reading in World Literature (Fall 2009): 151.

[6] Ibid: 153.

[7] Bump, Jerome. “Judging/Perceiving Teaching/Learning Styles.” Composition and Reading in World Literature (Fall 2009): 140.

[8] Tayi, Saumya. “Typology Assessment of Instructor and Class.” Compostition and Reading in World Literature (Fall 2009): 141.

[9] Ibid.

[10] Ibid.